lang patterns and getting the job done

Me: So if you don't think he is going to change with the tactic you plan to use, we might conclude that another route might be more prudent course of action, right? What do you think he cares about?

Coachee: I don't know, and I don't care to find out. He's 10K miles away and I am only going to have to deal with him for the next 3 months. He's on temp assignment. And did I mention that he's on temp assignment because no one will work with him? I'm not going to change this (swear word) and I don't have time to mess with him. And he's not going anywhere either - he's the technical expert and rose to VP because he's a maniacal genius! I just want our swimlanes defined and some clear expectations and consequences laid out in the open.

Me: Ok, so why don't we rewrite this email using some embedded commands, if/then statements, and cause and effect.

Coachee: Are you still talking English?

Me: Yes, but they work in any number of languages, too. Do you know what these are? Have you ever heard of any of these things before?

Coachee: No.

Me: OK – no worries – I can get you up to speed very quickly.

Coachee: But I’m going to be in meeting until 6PM! I am slammed. I can’t ask you to stay up until 10PM – I’m on the West Coast today.

Me: It’s ok – you can do this later and I can still get my beauty rest! Let me show you what you’re going to do. Pull up your eLearning sessions and go to Language and Communication – it will take you about 90 minutes to go through the materials and it will change how you write, read and analyze all future communication for the rest of your life. As soon as you have the knowledge, we are going to go through what you learned and apply it for this situation. You will not believe that you never knew this stuff before!

Coachee: Awesome!

The short version is that I coached him through the process in less than 15 minutes (he wrote the email and I provided a sounding board and asked a few perceptual questions) Bottom line: he just didn't have those answers inside him! No matter how hard I questioned - they just weren't there... Anybody have similar things happen in executive coaching on a day-to-day basis? It's like Charles Barkley at the free throw line - his coach finally took him aside and told him he was going to get a free throw coach to help him. What he was doing wasn't working. For three days the guy showed him how to throw from the line by observing, filming him, and replaying with a critique, then he went to the line and demonstrated the perfect throw so that Barkley could see it in motion. Then once he had the information, is was an easy next step to know what he needed to do, gradually adjusting and monitoring and tweaking was easier. That’s what we can accomplish extremely effectively with a blended learning approach. I would never had the time to teach this guy what he needed (as well as all the thousands who have this knowledge thanks to our eLearning sessions! The results are nothing short of incredible! So proud of all of this and how we are able to help so many people develop skills at this level!!!

And now for the rest of the story ----- My coachee showed his brother-in-law the original email late last night (which was a flamer!) then showed him the rewrite. His b-i-law called me this morning and hired me to come in to work with himself and two of his leadership team members - LOVE IT!

So, how would I define executive coaching? "Being ready to help in any way, by being the most prepared professional possible." Took the liberty of using 14 words. I need an editor. And Ed, I think I got the seplling write thiz tym rund!